Monday, February 23, 2009


This picture was taken this summer while we were in FL. It is a picture of my two daughters and their Great Grandmother (aka Momma Bernice) and their Great, Great Aunt Melba (on left). Momma Bernice and Aunt Melba are sisters who are well into their eighties now.
In our Sunday School class at church yesterday we began a discussion on the book Siblings without Rivalry. I'm going to look for it at the library today. I'd like to read it.
Have any of you read this book? What is your advice for keeping harmony in your home among your children or with your sibling growing up. I'd love for my girls to still be friends when they are in their 80's. You know since Cain and Abel, the very first notorious siblings on earth, parents have been trying to keep their children from killing each other.

Any ideas?


Ronnica said...

I don't know anything personally about raising siblings without rivalry (my brother and I fight like cats and dogs to this day, but in a loving way), but someone else gave me this advice: don't let them be better friends with anyone outside the home than they are friends with inside the home. Specifically, she was talking about her two daughters and how they encouraged them to be best friends. I'm not sure I agree with this, or how you would work it out, but it's certainly something to think about.

Ronnica said...

Oh, and as far as practicality, those two girls are closer than any sisters I've known, so it seemed to have worked for them!

Tracy P. said...

Well, you've seen the evidence of the love-hate relationship around our house. Our pastor preached about maturing in our faith last week, and I read to our kids from 1 John 4 where it basically says if we love God we will love one another. I asked them how they thought we were doing in that area as a family. Yeah, you could hear the crickets chirping. Neither one of them has a playmate who is accessible on a daily basis, however, and I think it does help them to seek each other out as playmates.

So how's that for a long comment? My grandma was a Bernice, too!

The Farmer Files said...

Not thing my parents did that was not healthy was instill a sense of competitiveness btw my sister and me. They also would point out what one of us did and not to do the same thing the other one did. My mom had a tendency to spend more time with my sister (like personalities) and I felt left out...and that bred resentment. My mom still doesn't get it today, even though my sister and I get it. It saddens us now that we are mothers.

With our sons, we point out how my husband and his brother have a very close relationship. We intentionally praise them when they treat their sibling well, and in a thoughtful manner. We also do not tolerate teasing or physical behavior. They seem to be the best of friends. We haven't done much other than the praise, and the two ask for the other brother all of the time when they are apart.

Betty said...

This was a mayor concern for me, when my girls were growing up. They were only two years apart, but very very different in character! So it is only in the last years, that they have really become friends with one another. It is a big answer to my prayers!

Cicero Sings said...

Great Granny and Great Great Aunty sure do LOOK like sisters.

I have no advice on the sibling thing. Can't say as I'm all that close to mine but they are 12 and 8 years older.

Charity Childs-Gevero said...

Well...I don't have any, I can't give any input on this one...except that maybe my son and I are just like brother and sister and I think my husband knows how to keep us from strangling each other! LOL! So you would have to ask him! LOL!

Melody said...

This is one thing in child rearing that I got right!

My kids are each other's best friends.

I'm not sure exactly which part that I've done was the part that worked, but this is what I do:

First of all, I homeschool. When there isn't anyone else to hang out with from 8-3:30, your siblings look like excellent playmates.

I've also stressed over and over that your friends are wonderful, but if we move, all you get to take with you is your siblings, so you better learn to like them!

I also haven't ever pitted one against another, and I'm patient with them when they totally sticktogether and think I'm a witch...not that I love that, I just think it's healthy.

I have impressed that fact that we have to be loyal to each other. We all know each other's dirty laundry and we need to not gossip about each other. We also need to love each other unconditionally.

We have one night a week that is exclusive for our family night. Friends must wait, because we have relationships to build.

I can't think of more, but if I do, I'll be back. ;-)

Becky said...

As a parent, I can say that my two children (a son and a daughter) are eachothers best friend. Having grown up as "military brats" they have learned that they are eachothers "constant." I have tried to teach them that no matter what, you will always have one another. I am not certain what will happen as my oldest goes off to college this next fall. Only time will tell.
The only thing I can tell you is something different had to be done from the way I was raised. I had two older brothers and as kids we did not get along so well. As adults my oldest brother and I were very close- I say "were" because he passed away much too soon! His passing has brought me closer with my other brother, but it was a tough lesson to learn.
Try to teach your girls that everyday they have with one another is a blessing that only the two of them can share. They may not see it now, but someday they will :)