Thursday, September 11, 2008

What I like about Ike...hmm...let me think....


Can't think of anything I like about Ike. My kids like the fact that school has been cancelled tomorrow. So here he comes. That little trail of yellow and red dots are just south and west of our house.

We're as ready as we can be. We are in a No-Evacuation Zone. So storm surge is not a problem for us. But I've got a full tank of gas. I paid $3.27 per gallon. Not too bad considering... Enough pop-tarts and diet pepsis to last us a couple of weeks.
The "officials" are already telling us we could loose power for up to two weeks. Let's hope that doesn't happen. We do have plans if we need to leave. Thanks Uncle Jack and Aunt Doris.

I received this funny e-mail yesterday from a friend about hurricane cocktails.
Keeps times like this on the light side. So here is some hurricane humor for you.

The e-mail read....


MANDATORY EVACUATION
1 1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka
1/2 oz. vermouth
ClamatoPrune juice
Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts Clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose tree blew over and crashed onto your roof - even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it - if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.

CATEGORY 5
1/2 oz. vodka
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. rum
1/2 oz. bourbon
1/2 oz. gin
Sweet-and-sour mix
Splash of fruit juice
Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours,and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.

CONE OF PROBABILITY
1 oz. cinnamon schnapps
1 sugar coneP
our the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, 'cone of probability,' bite off the end of the cone and down the shot.
If you hear Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (they should change this to the 'Cantore Zone'.... Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if Cantore is parked in front of your house your rearend is toast?)

FEEDER BAND
2 oz. Midori
2 oz. rum
1 scoop vanilla ice cream
After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass. Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir, and drink through a straw.

BEACH EROSION
1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger
1 1/2 oz. apple brandy
1 pack Sugar in the Raw
Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee a** back to New Jersey where it belongs.

DOWNED POWER LINE
1 1/2 oz. rum
5 oz. Jolt Cola
Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television and AC.

FLOOD ZONE
2 oz. Kahlúa
2 oz. Baileys Irish cream
4 oz. rum
Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop.

COLD SHOWER
2 oz. Blue Aftershock
4 oz. Sprite
Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after waiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot. Take a deep breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits your tongue. Repeat.

LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT
1 oz. Jack Daniel's
Splash of sarsaparilla
Rock salt
Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt. Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shotglass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast him with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.

THE CHAIN SAW
1 oz. Goldschläger
1 oz. Rumplemintz
3 oz. Jim Beam
Splash of vermouth
Combine Goldschläger, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can. Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard. Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.

BLUE TARP
1 1/2 oz. Curacao
2 oz. pineapple juice
Splash of lime
Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve. Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup. If you're impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn't hurt himself in the process.

Hopefully none of these cocktails will be necessary.
We'll keep you posted.

3 comments:

Steph said...

I just might have to steal that for my blog! thanks for stopping by today!

Givinya De Elba said...

You left a totally gorgeous comment on my blog back on my husband's birthday. Thanks so much! It made my day!

I thought these cocktails were funny especially biting the end off the sugar cone and drinking shots, and blasting looters with rock salt. Sounded good to me!

But the whole time I was just so aware that there are people going through horribly devastating times. We don't get earthquakes or hurricanes where I live, and I need to remember to be very thankful for that and to pray for people who are not so lucky.

Thanks for the cocktails. They gave me a laugh anyway.

Rela Pantaleon-Manigsaca said...

Hi Joy, I hope you did not sustain any damage and that you do not need any of the above!